I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
