I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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