He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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