So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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