Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
