just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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