She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
