Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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