Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
