had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
