Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
