Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
