Already got asked if we're dating
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
