I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
