How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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