Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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