You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
