So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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