Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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