See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
