I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Randomize
