How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
