He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
