so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize