farters have to be the big spoon...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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