So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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