Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
