i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
