I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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