Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
