Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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