you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
