I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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