i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
