His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
