chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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