So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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