i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
