I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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