Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
