You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize