I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize