living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize