Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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