I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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