she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
