also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
