I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
