I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
