too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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