plz talk dirty to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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