I puked a lego.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
