I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
this just has baby written all over it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
