dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
