and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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