Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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