You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
