i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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