I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
