I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
