I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
