How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
