did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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