it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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