And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Help. Why am I so naked?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
