i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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