Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize