That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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