I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
