C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
