i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
