Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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