i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
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