he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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