The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
