What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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