He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
