with your own penis?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
