bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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