Where did you get a picture of my penis
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
