I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
