Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize