Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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